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Posts Tagged ‘Holy Spirit’

Two weeks ago, the Holy Spirit moved upon hearts in one of our church services.  This is a transcript of what one young woman openly shared with the congregation during that visitation:

I couldn’t sleep last night.  God was dealing with me.  I agonized for hours, not knowing what or how to pray, not knowing what Father wanted to say to me.  All I could do was cry.  All I could say was, “What, Lord?” No answer.  I started declaring great statements of how I want to live for Him and love Him etc., and in the middle of my Peter-like statements and pride, He asked me a question.  He said, “But do you want to die with Me?”

I could not answer for a while.  I was so stunned and horrified as I saw who I really was.  I am critical, judgmental, unforgiving, jealous, covetous, and fearful.  It’s not the first time God has showed me this, but I saw it how He saw it.  I was physica1ly ill.  As God encompassed me in his great love and forgiveness, very sheepishly, but with all my heart, I answered him. “Yes, Lord. I want to die with You.”  God began to speak to me. This is what He said:

Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened that it cannot save; neither his ear heavy, that it cannot hear: but your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear” (Isaiah 59:1-2).

We say we want to live for Him
But we won’t die with Him.

We say we want to be filled with His Spirit
But we don’t want to be empty.

We say we want to be clothed in His righteousness
But we won’t be stripped bare, with our hearts exposed before Him.

We say we want to be great for God
But we CAN’T STAND to be nothing and small in our own eyes.

We say we want to move in His power
But we don’t want to be weak.

We say we want compassion and boldness
But we don’t want to be a fool.

We want to sit in heavenly places
But we won’t sit at His feet.

We say we want to abide in Him
But we won’t come out from among them.

We say we want to go forward with God
But we won’t turn and repent.

God loves us and He wants to give us the kingdom, but how can He if we will not humble ourselves? We must humble ourselves before Him. There is no other way.

If we will not pay the price, if we won’t sell all to purchase that pearl of great price, then we are only religious, Jesus is no longer precious to us. He is no longer real to us.

Do we want to be glorified, or do we want God to be glorified? Do we want dead works, or do we want fruit that remains?

We say we want to go where He wants us to go. There is only one place He is leading, and that is the cross.

From the greatest person to the least, every single one of us, from the one with the most perfect pursuit, to the utterly lost among us, we should all be trembling at the word that has been coming to us for months and months. Every one of us fall so far short of the glory of our Holy Father. All of us should be crying out for the searchlight of His Holy Spirit to shine into every crevice of our being, that we would fall on our face before Him and allow Him to bring a fire so hot into our soul, that we will NEVER again be the same. That God would be great in this place, and in each one of our hearts. That we would be nothing and that He alone would be glorified.

Dear God let it start with me …..

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A friend shared this on Facebook and gave me permission to share it with you:

I looked up our old house on google satelites because i was feeling depressed. I knew seeing it wouldnt make me feel better. But something in me just wanted to see the town and the place i stayed.

(It’s  not often i post on facebook and even rarer that i share personal thoughts or feelings on it. But i really hope this finds its way to you. It could change your life if you let it.)

As i scrolled around google, checking out the old town, i kept getting more and more sad. Its not you that i miss, or the things we had. I realized that what i was really looking for was Jesus.

Remember the day i got arrested? And remember that night after you bailed me out? We made a promise to serve Jesus for all our days. The months after were so rocky. You quit on your faith fast, but i never said anything. Im sorry for that. You stuck with me through my trial but we were both headed in different directions. During my court case God revealed to me that you wouldnt be apart of my life any longer. I was scared, and you were the only familiar face for me besides my brother. I didnt want to lose you so instead i held on far longer than i should have. Im sorry for that.

I found a great church, not the one i took you to, a different one. I had one amazing experience walking to that hawaiian grill we loved so much. The Holy Spirit took control of me and i began speaking in other tongues…on the side of the road i just broke down on my knees and cried and cried, speaking in a language i dont know.
I moved to nebraska, and then to virginia. Remember how i told you i would end up back here? Lol, crazy the things that has happened!

The first year i was back in virginia was literally the happiest i ever been. I had 4 dollars in my pocket and a smile on my face u couldnt wipe off. My life had purpose again, there was a reason to live.

Slowly though, pride crept in. I thought i could handle things that i couldnt. I began to do my own thing instead of seek council. I became a fool. My priorities changed. It wasnt all at once, very slowly my prayers stopped, and going to church became a chore. I stopped going for months because of the guilt i would get for knowing my life was out of order. I didnt see it like this though at the time.

In my eyes, i was a victim. I blamed God for not being happy. In my mind God stopped giving me power to obey His Word. I blamed everything but myself. And i searched for things to bring me a sense of purpose and completion. I focused on my career for a while, then life became about one person, then games, slowly drinking and then drugs, i tried to keep myself busy with anything as long as it meant i didnt have to face the music of knowing im not living right. If this sounds familiar to you, please i beg, do what i did.

Its been a work in progress these last few months but every day I am rededicating my life to Jesus. Its about not quitting. I worked so hard to hold onto my life only to create a life of pain and misery. Thats the best we can do without Jesus. We can keep ourselves happy for the moment, but dont know how to satisfy our souls. Only Jesus can!

So what i really was looking for on google tonight was that experience i had with Christ, i wanted to be reminded of where my life started. I wanted to revisit and relive the night He poured His Spirit into me. And He has proven faithful time and time again. He has poured His spirit into me, He has forgiven me of my sins. I am a new creature in Him. And this redemptiom is for all!!

Sorry for the novel. But u know me…always have way too much to say about something : )

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Folks keep asking me how my novel is coming along.  Well, the truth is, the novel is on hold for now.  I feel like some changes need to be accomplished in me, primary of which is spending more time with God.  Much like writer’s block, however, it can be harder than it sounds.  The old brain always comes up with something to think on instead of Him.  Even if it’s a “good” thing, if it’s about me instead of Him it’s the wrong thing.

A friend of mine, in church the other day, allowed himself to be used by the Holy Spirit to exhort the assembly.  He spoke mightily, edifying us all, and I wish I had been able to record the prophecy.[1]  The phrase which stood out, repeated several times in different “scenes,” was, “It was just another day.”  Until the Holy Spirit moved, it was just another day.  From the believers gathering at Pentecost (Acts 2), to the lame man at Gate Beautiful (Acts 3), to Saul the Christian-hunter submitting and being baptized (Acts 9), as well as many other miraculous happenings, each time it was just another day—until someone listened, like my friend did, and complied with a particular move of the Holy Spirit.

I’ve been there.  I’ve laid hands on the sick and seen them recover immediately.  I’ve prayed and had individuals receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit “at my hands.”  I’ve seen folks delivered when demonic spirits were driven out.  And I’ve seen folks clinically dead restored to life when the doctors had given up.

I miss that, but I’m not going to seek those occurrences, just Him.

That’s why the novel and this blog have been ignored for the past while.

I’ll be back, I believe, authoring again, after I’m able to really put Him first.


[1]Pursue love, and desire spiritual gifts, but especially that you may prophesy.” “For you can all prophesy one by one, that all may learn and all may be encouraged” (1 Corinthians 14:1 and 14:31 NKJV).

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